I’m sixty pages into Mein Kampf, and I feel like I’m going to vomit.
The first fifty pages start off slowly, with Hitler building up a skewed and praiseworthy history of his own past; constructing for himself a false reality, much like you would expect out of any demented fuckwit with messianic tendencies. There are only brief flashes and hints at lunacy. He only mentions Jews once or twice.
He’s got daddy issues. Around age twelve, he’s dead set against his father’s desire for him to be a civil servant because he’d rather be an artist or a musician, or as he later focuses on, an architect. His dad dies while he’s 13, and his mother two years after that. Hitler then runs off to Vienna and applies to an art school because he wants to be a painter. His rejection by the school is painted in terms of the school master’s realization that he’s just oh-so-good an architect that he couldn’t possibly bear placing him in a lowly art school and instead, Hitler decides to study architecture.
So, he enters architect school, or whatever, and becomes ever-so-poetic about the hardships he endures now that he’s no longer part of the bourgeoisie. He’s constantly struggling to survive and always battling hunger, of all things. Yea, that’s fucked up. Hitler’s whining about being hungry. Goddammit.
He flies into a few rages in his writing about the working class and unions and how everyone in the union is under some hypnotic spell. Hitler then does his homework to find out how to argue with those low class union-folk. In doing so, he plays the martyr and complains about how the union workers threatened him with violence when they disagreed with him. Apparently, using violence as a means of persuasion is below Hitler.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?
The first few chapters are filled with random rants. You can just feel him building up into a frenzy, and it’s like, oh geez, he forgot to take his pills again. And he hasn’t even gotten to any of the racial stuff yet. Most of it revolves around his desire that everyone realize just how supercool being of German heritage was. He’s not a fan of the Austrian state and feels that it should be dissolved and absorbed into the whole Germanic nationality.
So then, you get to about page fifty and you take the dog for a walk. You’re thinking, this fucker’s got some issues but you’re wondering when he’s gonna take that dive off the deep end. And then you get to page fifty-one.
I only made it to page sixty so far in this edition. On each of those ten pages, it was harder and harder to go on. It’s here that the raving becomes focused on the Jews. Hitler describes his descent into antisemitism in a way that feels like he’s trying to convince you of how he has seen the light. He describes how he never really thought of the Jewish problem until slowly beginning to open his eyes and read some of the antisemitic literature and fliers out there. He praises some of the local antisemitic douchebags for showing him the way, and continues to vomit racial lie after lie, spewing hatred in a way I had mistakenly thought society had long since surpassed.
The first fifty pages contained brief hints at this madness and ensuing fervor. These last few pages begin to lay it bare. I’m done for tonight. I can’t take any more.